Your Plant Horoscope
Today we visit the horoscope of plants born on March 23, 2002.
Since they don’t fit any of the regular plant horoscope signs, we must assign them a new sign for that day: Piggallia Minor.
Cactus born on that day are likely to be picky eaters, selfish lovers, momma’s boys, and Nader-voters.
Pigallian Minors: This week is the most important week of your life. You must get bees to your pollen by Wednesday, or your chances for romance will collapse into a black hole of despair and desperation; you will die a horrible aphid-infested death. On the other hand, if you succeed, and are favored by the bees, you will be honored for a thousand years among your progeny. Your seed will be collected by Monsanto and turned into an aphid-resistant strain that contains a vicious insecticide in your genes. You will not only be the parent of billions of plants for a thousand years to come, but you will also be responsible for the extinction of thousands of species. You go girl!